Thank you for reading ❤️ It was so hard to write (and share). I can actually still feel the embarrasment I felt that day in Kindergarten when I write about and recall the events. It's incredible how comments that seem so silly and meaningless can impact the perception we have of ourselves over such a long period.
You have a excellent way of priming your story with an opening that makes you feel like a real person. Beginning this story with your innocence was great and it made it all come full circle in the end. I'm glad you are not just in a better place, but the right place for yourself too. And bonus points for pairing this with Edvard Munch art. My favorite artist!
This was beautifully candid and gave me a lot of insights, being the father of a little girl who is growing up so quickly. And also my own adolescence if I’m being honest! Thank you.
It's even more difficult these days for girls (and boys) growing up with constant exposure to what society dictates as attractive and the perceived perfection that is a result of the filtered beauty on Instagram and other socials. I'm sure you will provide your daughter with the guidance that will support her in building confidence in herself and in her identity!
Great read! I learned that kids who are mean at school are micking what happens at home. But as a kid, we don't understand that. We just hurt. Congrats on your journey!
Thank you and I agree. I've always had my problems with the generalised sentiment, "Children are cruel", because I don't believe that. Children are what they learn and see from the adults in their lives.
Wow, powerful story Stephanie... as a kindergarten teacher in training, I also am astounded at how vividly you remember such a specific occasion - our youngest years truly are the times that hold most wounds for us, right? I am so glad you can look at yourself and love yourself now!! I am so looking forward to meet you properly in Healing Hearts Hub - only more love is to come :) hehe
That's true, there are so many things I could never properly recall from when I was that young, but I remember that incident like it was yesterday... You will be doing an important job as a Kindergarten teacher, that's for sure!
This is so tender, poignant and deeply touching. As someone who spent years struggling with feeling like an ugly duckling, I can resonate with this. I too was called ugly as a little girl and it took me years to really heal that part of myself.
Your story is beautiful and I’m so happy for you that you’re able to express and embrace the things from your past. You’ve cultivated such a rich inner world that many people miss out on.❤️☺️
Thank you so much and thank you for taking the time to read this ❤️
I hope that one day loving yourself and your appearance is just a given for people and not something they have to arduously learn after years of self-loathing. Life is too short and we should enjoy what we are!
Such a relatable post. You shared things I have thought. I continue to struggle but remember that the love I have in my life trumps physicality, hands down.
On the one hand, I'm happy it resonates, on the other, it makes me sad how we apparently all have these insecurities 🙁 But you're absolutely right, that's how I see it now as well!
Beautifully written Stephanie, and I completely agree with you! There's a lovely peace that comes with accepting and loving your reflection, and I don't think it has to do with vanity. Also, did we all have that one cruel kid in school? I have a few stories i could share 🙈
Thank you and thanks also for reading ❤️ There is definitely so much peace and freedom in self-acceptance and loving your own appearance...
Yes, I think that mean kid was everywhere 🙈 Of course now I'm aware that the mean kids were mean because they had their own issues. It's hard to understand and empathise in the moment though.
Thank you for reading this piece ❤️ If it inspires someone to love themselves more (and ideally not take over 30 years to learn it), it would make me very happy!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Stephanie 🥺💗 I think this is a topic that most, if not all, of us girls can relate to, especially with society's "beauty standards" which are just impossible to achieve... You can be the prettiest person in the eyes of the world but still feel ugly because you rely on external validation. You're so right that self-love is what makes us truly beautiful. "The ability to look at and love our reflections - that is what makes us pretty, appealing, attractive, beautiful." 💯💖
Thank you for reading, Alea ❤️ I hope other girls don't need as much time to achieve the level of self-love I've been able to cultivate in recent years. Life is so short. We should enjoy who/what we are from the beginning and not let external "standards" or opinions deter us!
I hope that you are taking back some of what you didn't get in the first part of your life.
Your story is catching and makes me feel that someone along the way should have hugged that little girl Stephanie and told her that she was beautiful. Again and again.
What I guess is that you have had an inner world that developed more than many others', at least until you dug into the clothing thing. You built up a capacity that now pays off. Brainpower to express all that beauty you knew you had but was afraid to express, even to yourself.
Now it appears as great writing. Several years of condensed quality and beauty, hopes and dreams, big thoughts, ready to be squeezed out of the tube and onto the canvas of life.
My (inner) struggles have certainly been a huge factor when it came to honing my creativity. Being in your own head all the time is an advantage in that respect and teaches you how to thoroughly reflect. I don't know if I could express myself artistically if not for my burdens, so essentially, I'm thankful for my experiences.
I'm grateful that I've been able to work through so much and that writing continues to help me. Creativity can be the best medicine for so much of what challenges us. We're conditioned to believe that consuming and placing our focus and energy on what's on the outside will help us cope or even make us happy (hence why the clothes shopping and general over-consumption is such a problem for so many), but I know better now and hope that there will be a general tendency in our society where people begin to recognise early on what took me so long to learn.
Wow, another master piece! You give insight to a pain that many people have never felt nor understand. You're right, the way a person looks doesn't define them as a person. We have no control over what nature gives us. In similar fashion is penis size for men, you get what nature gives you. 😄 Anyone who is that judgemental about outward appearances is probably not worth interacting with anyway. To say, "I love you" to your reflection is not "cheesy", but an act of endearment to loving one's self and quite a cute thing to do if you ask me. 😄
1: Cover Picture 9.5/10
(Great picture that aligns with the content)
2: Content 10/10
(Yet again, very interesting and intense read that had me feeling several emotions)
3: Syntax/Form/Spelling 10/10
(Didn't detect any errors but I noticed single spaces between sentences when it should be double. I know substack auto-adjusts things sometimes so I give you the benefit of the doubt. 😄)
4: Overall 9.8/10
(This was a great read into the psyche of someone dealing with a great pain and developing themselves and loving their new found self. 🫦)
Sidenote: Some women are obsessed with losing weight but you have to remember some guys like women on the chunky side. When you realize that, then you know you've been hot all along. ❤️
I'm flattered that anyone would refer to something I wrote as a "master piece"! Thank you ❤️
Outer appearances are irrelevant and it's disappointing that there is still so much emphasis placed upon the way we look in our society. The only standard I hold people to is proper hygiene - as long as you're bathed/showered, you brush your teeth, and your clothes are not dirty, you're fine 😅
Penis size, breast/bust size - it doesn't matter! Different people like different things and you'll never be able to appeal to everyone's personal preference anyway... But you can be sure there's someone who likes you just the way you are!
Haha, I've never thought of the "I love you" ritual in front of the mirror as cute ☺️ I'm certain many would find it cheesy, but I don't care, I do it anyway!
I'm glad you liked the post and I'm pleased with my score 😊 And yes, Substack is constantly screwing with the way I format my posts 🙈
Oh, I know I've been hot all along 😌😉 I will admit that I am much more comfortable with the healthier eating habits I've implemented over the last few years because I FEEL so good! Losing weight was a result of that, but eating better and exercising has done wonders for my mental and physical health... It's ironic because for years my focus was on diets and losing weight to look good, which never brought about sustainable results. It wasn't until my focus was on my health and overall well-being that I achieved weight loss 🤷🏻♀️
“I'm flattered that anyone would refer to something I wrote as a "master piece"! Thank you” ❤️
You're welcome, in my view it is. 😏
-
The person in the mirror is like another entity, your ego. When you tell it you love them and they smile back, you know you've achieved success. 😘
-
Around the beginning of December, I was unable to continue my fasting routine so I gained a little weight. 😂 (Too Many christmas cookies! 🙈) I admire (and envy) that you have the discipline to stay the course and continue eating healthily and not succumb to the temptations during this holiday season. 😅
Oh, I won't try to deny that I did indulge in the weeks leading up to Christmas 🙈 But I still kept everything well-balanced 😉
Thank you ❤️ While I'm aware I'm hot, compliments are always nice and appreciated 😇😉
So you couldn't resist to indulge either, huh? Now I don't feel so bad. 😅
Confidence is sexy! 🫦✨️
I'm a sucker for the sweet stuff, so nope, couldn't resist 😉
Thank you for reading ❤️ It was so hard to write (and share). I can actually still feel the embarrasment I felt that day in Kindergarten when I write about and recall the events. It's incredible how comments that seem so silly and meaningless can impact the perception we have of ourselves over such a long period.
You have a excellent way of priming your story with an opening that makes you feel like a real person. Beginning this story with your innocence was great and it made it all come full circle in the end. I'm glad you are not just in a better place, but the right place for yourself too. And bonus points for pairing this with Edvard Munch art. My favorite artist!
Thank you so much ❤️ And I love Munch as well!
This was beautifully candid and gave me a lot of insights, being the father of a little girl who is growing up so quickly. And also my own adolescence if I’m being honest! Thank you.
You're welcome, I'm glad you found it insightful.
It's even more difficult these days for girls (and boys) growing up with constant exposure to what society dictates as attractive and the perceived perfection that is a result of the filtered beauty on Instagram and other socials. I'm sure you will provide your daughter with the guidance that will support her in building confidence in herself and in her identity!
Great read! I learned that kids who are mean at school are micking what happens at home. But as a kid, we don't understand that. We just hurt. Congrats on your journey!
Thank you and I agree. I've always had my problems with the generalised sentiment, "Children are cruel", because I don't believe that. Children are what they learn and see from the adults in their lives.
Wow, powerful story Stephanie... as a kindergarten teacher in training, I also am astounded at how vividly you remember such a specific occasion - our youngest years truly are the times that hold most wounds for us, right? I am so glad you can look at yourself and love yourself now!! I am so looking forward to meet you properly in Healing Hearts Hub - only more love is to come :) hehe
That's true, there are so many things I could never properly recall from when I was that young, but I remember that incident like it was yesterday... You will be doing an important job as a Kindergarten teacher, that's for sure!
I'm very much looking forward to it as well 😊
This is so tender, poignant and deeply touching. As someone who spent years struggling with feeling like an ugly duckling, I can resonate with this. I too was called ugly as a little girl and it took me years to really heal that part of myself.
Your story is beautiful and I’m so happy for you that you’re able to express and embrace the things from your past. You’ve cultivated such a rich inner world that many people miss out on.❤️☺️
Thank you so much and thank you for taking the time to read this ❤️
I hope that one day loving yourself and your appearance is just a given for people and not something they have to arduously learn after years of self-loathing. Life is too short and we should enjoy what we are!
Such a relatable post. You shared things I have thought. I continue to struggle but remember that the love I have in my life trumps physicality, hands down.
On the one hand, I'm happy it resonates, on the other, it makes me sad how we apparently all have these insecurities 🙁 But you're absolutely right, that's how I see it now as well!
Beautifully written Stephanie, and I completely agree with you! There's a lovely peace that comes with accepting and loving your reflection, and I don't think it has to do with vanity. Also, did we all have that one cruel kid in school? I have a few stories i could share 🙈
Thank you and thanks also for reading ❤️ There is definitely so much peace and freedom in self-acceptance and loving your own appearance...
Yes, I think that mean kid was everywhere 🙈 Of course now I'm aware that the mean kids were mean because they had their own issues. It's hard to understand and empathise in the moment though.
So relatable thank you for sharing your experience with such honesty and self love 💕
Thank you for reading this piece ❤️ If it inspires someone to love themselves more (and ideally not take over 30 years to learn it), it would make me very happy!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Stephanie 🥺💗 I think this is a topic that most, if not all, of us girls can relate to, especially with society's "beauty standards" which are just impossible to achieve... You can be the prettiest person in the eyes of the world but still feel ugly because you rely on external validation. You're so right that self-love is what makes us truly beautiful. "The ability to look at and love our reflections - that is what makes us pretty, appealing, attractive, beautiful." 💯💖
Thank you for reading, Alea ❤️ I hope other girls don't need as much time to achieve the level of self-love I've been able to cultivate in recent years. Life is so short. We should enjoy who/what we are from the beginning and not let external "standards" or opinions deter us!
I hope that you are taking back some of what you didn't get in the first part of your life.
Your story is catching and makes me feel that someone along the way should have hugged that little girl Stephanie and told her that she was beautiful. Again and again.
What I guess is that you have had an inner world that developed more than many others', at least until you dug into the clothing thing. You built up a capacity that now pays off. Brainpower to express all that beauty you knew you had but was afraid to express, even to yourself.
Now it appears as great writing. Several years of condensed quality and beauty, hopes and dreams, big thoughts, ready to be squeezed out of the tube and onto the canvas of life.
Yes, I definitely am (better late than never)...
My (inner) struggles have certainly been a huge factor when it came to honing my creativity. Being in your own head all the time is an advantage in that respect and teaches you how to thoroughly reflect. I don't know if I could express myself artistically if not for my burdens, so essentially, I'm thankful for my experiences.
I'm grateful that I've been able to work through so much and that writing continues to help me. Creativity can be the best medicine for so much of what challenges us. We're conditioned to believe that consuming and placing our focus and energy on what's on the outside will help us cope or even make us happy (hence why the clothes shopping and general over-consumption is such a problem for so many), but I know better now and hope that there will be a general tendency in our society where people begin to recognise early on what took me so long to learn.
Wow, another master piece! You give insight to a pain that many people have never felt nor understand. You're right, the way a person looks doesn't define them as a person. We have no control over what nature gives us. In similar fashion is penis size for men, you get what nature gives you. 😄 Anyone who is that judgemental about outward appearances is probably not worth interacting with anyway. To say, "I love you" to your reflection is not "cheesy", but an act of endearment to loving one's self and quite a cute thing to do if you ask me. 😄
1: Cover Picture 9.5/10
(Great picture that aligns with the content)
2: Content 10/10
(Yet again, very interesting and intense read that had me feeling several emotions)
3: Syntax/Form/Spelling 10/10
(Didn't detect any errors but I noticed single spaces between sentences when it should be double. I know substack auto-adjusts things sometimes so I give you the benefit of the doubt. 😄)
4: Overall 9.8/10
(This was a great read into the psyche of someone dealing with a great pain and developing themselves and loving their new found self. 🫦)
Sidenote: Some women are obsessed with losing weight but you have to remember some guys like women on the chunky side. When you realize that, then you know you've been hot all along. ❤️
I'm flattered that anyone would refer to something I wrote as a "master piece"! Thank you ❤️
Outer appearances are irrelevant and it's disappointing that there is still so much emphasis placed upon the way we look in our society. The only standard I hold people to is proper hygiene - as long as you're bathed/showered, you brush your teeth, and your clothes are not dirty, you're fine 😅
Penis size, breast/bust size - it doesn't matter! Different people like different things and you'll never be able to appeal to everyone's personal preference anyway... But you can be sure there's someone who likes you just the way you are!
Haha, I've never thought of the "I love you" ritual in front of the mirror as cute ☺️ I'm certain many would find it cheesy, but I don't care, I do it anyway!
I'm glad you liked the post and I'm pleased with my score 😊 And yes, Substack is constantly screwing with the way I format my posts 🙈
Oh, I know I've been hot all along 😌😉 I will admit that I am much more comfortable with the healthier eating habits I've implemented over the last few years because I FEEL so good! Losing weight was a result of that, but eating better and exercising has done wonders for my mental and physical health... It's ironic because for years my focus was on diets and losing weight to look good, which never brought about sustainable results. It wasn't until my focus was on my health and overall well-being that I achieved weight loss 🤷🏻♀️
“I'm flattered that anyone would refer to something I wrote as a "master piece"! Thank you” ❤️
You're welcome, in my view it is. 😏
-
The person in the mirror is like another entity, your ego. When you tell it you love them and they smile back, you know you've achieved success. 😘
-
Around the beginning of December, I was unable to continue my fasting routine so I gained a little weight. 😂 (Too Many christmas cookies! 🙈) I admire (and envy) that you have the discipline to stay the course and continue eating healthily and not succumb to the temptations during this holiday season. 😅
-
“Oh, I know I've been hot all along” 😌😉
Yaaaassss you are! 😍😍😍