When I do stop and stay still for a moment I get really restless then beat myself up as I just want to stop and be still. It’s a terrible feeling and a contradiction. I’m so fed up of just going through the motions, doing the 9-5 100 % stuck in the rat race facing the hot London tube, yes I’m moving cos I have no choice but I’m moving round in circles. I don’t know the answer, I don’t want to wish my life away but I can retire in 10 years. I plan to get a little small cottage and potter daily.
It's horrible isn't it?! We want to just stop but it's as if we've forgotten how to do it. I have the same problem. I completely understand how you feel. We're constantly moving but don't seem to know why or if it's even for ourselves...
What you have planned definitely sounds like bliss 🥰 I've got my fingers and toes crossed that it happens for you sooner than later🤞
Embracing stillness can be such a challenge, but wow .... when you finally do, it's 100% worth it. I just got back from a short vacation with family, and we never used the television or went on social media. We used our phones only to get directions to our next outdoor adventure. Being out in nature for 12-14 hours a day was glorious! And the vastness of the forests and mountains was beyond satisfying.
I actually fantasise about moving some place remote and living an analog life again! Everything just seemed so much simpler before the phone plague, especially embracing stillness...
Great job successfully limiting and managing the phone/(social) media usage though! I'm thinking about maybe introducing "analog days" into my calendar to grow accustomed to just being again.
Beautifully and eloquently articulated (unlike this clunky compliment 😂)
I do constantly lament or bemoan my 'fate' but not in a truly debilitating manner - more in a wistful way, like with my longing for Ireland, as you know. I'm luckily okay with accepting and even embracing the stillness, and that's kind of the point I'd reached just before I left Ukraine. The past few years have thrown it all out of whack and I've struggled to get to a more comfortable state since arriving in Vienna.
Sometimes we can't be still due to external circumstances. That's a whole different story...
I reached that point of stillness in Portsmouth, also had to leave temporarily for reasons out of my control, unexpectedly got a job offer somewhere else and started moving again instead of returning to the stillness I already found. I'm also in the process of trying to cultivate it here at the moment...
By the way, we reached a record-breaking 27 degrees in Dublin yesterday! As a self-proclaimed summer lover, I was shocked at how disgustingly hot I found it 🙈 Next week we should be back to Irish summer - 19 degrees (with sunshine if we're lucky 🍀😉)
I’ll be in the UK (Colchester) on Wednesday for 3 weeks, I’m hoping it’s cooled down more and stays at a more reasonable level. It’s at 38 right now (9.30am) but the forecast for later is 41 (again).
Next week I’m going to have a ‘what is home/what the hell is going on?’ post, and that’ll be my last for a few weeks while I take it easy over the summer.
Surprisingly, I'm starting to grow fond of 19 degree summers as well...
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll be able to enjoy 3 "cool" weeks in the UK🤞
I'm looking forward to that post, as it sounds like one I'll be able to relate to. Taking it easy sounds like a good idea. I hope you enjoy the time off 😊
I think the answer is in the title itself, "Bliss". Progressing is usually the order of the day but sometimes stagnation is the answer. What's important is to feel comfortable. If one is headbutting an impenetrable wall, stagnation might be the better choice.
We all have hard choices to make in life. Many "what ifs" and routes we could have taken. I think what's important is that one makes a choice and commits to it.
It helps to have money but it's not everything. I think of stories where high level executives quit their jobs for a life on a farm with animals and found happiness.
I don't know if this post was a generalization or a glimpse into how you feel, but we all have to keep our heads up and keep moving forward.
This post is more of a generalisation and also a realisation. Everywhere I look these days, it seems like everyone is chasing something - careers, money, followers/engagement, healing, (spiritual) enlightenment - so few people seem to be truly satisfied and most are far from blissful. I think the problem is this notion that we’re not growing if we’re not constantly doing, moving, improving and, most importantly, if we’re not adhering to society’s standard of ambition and success. I mean, just look at people’s reactions if a person dares say they don’t necessarily enjoy travelling and are perfectly content and happy at home or if they tell someone they enjoy a job that’s deemed “mediocre” (like cleaning) by most and have no desire to do anything else. People perceive those attitudes as stagnation or an unwillingness to grow, but I’m starting to think that they are more blissful than all the dreamers, movers, and shakers who never seem truly content, regardless of what they achieve, will ever be.
That is why you don't see the content ones …...because they are not out there chasing anything. Contentment doesn't necessarily rely on wealth. There are many poor people that live in slums all over the world but they are “wealthy” in family and cultural ties.
I can't help but notice the similarities of when you were talking about growth, but in an economic context. They say if the economy is not growing, we're in a recession. So, I guess we have to keep growing personally to avoid a “recession” or even a “depression” in our lives.
I think it comes down to standards. If a person has very high standards, they won't be content unless they are living in the fast lane. The cleaner as you mentioned may have medium or low standards and is content with their income.
Yes exactly! With constant growth comes volatility, whether it be personally or economically. Let’s look at some examples:
1) A successful restaurant opens up 3 more locations. After more success they open 15 more locations. Eventually resources and money get stretched thin and they are forced to close the new restaurants. Why not just have 5 restaurants and be stable?
2) Financial crash of 2008. Lenders were giving loans to people that carried alot of risk. Sure there was growth but look at what wound up happening.
3) Take a person making €10,000 a month after taxes. They pay €5000 rent and after all the high standard costs of living they have €1000 left for savings. Then take someone making €6000 a month after taxes. They pay €2000 in rent and after medium costs of living they have €2500 euros left for savings. Which one is more stable?
All perfect examples of how viewing constant "growth" as a primary objective will ultimately lead to the demise of what you've been growing. I think you just have to reach a point where you can say "Ok, this is fine. Let's just put our efforts into maintaining things as they are", but humanity just does not seem capable of this, hence why entire civilisations end up destroying themselves and the systems they built (and grew).
That's a good point – on top of a feeling that I know well, and that I think many people run into. That feeling of running in some kind of hamster wheel that actually not leads anywhere, even though we believe that movement itself is progression.
Enjoying the spot you've already found, spending time on something else than running, could possibly lead to a lot more blissful.
Yes, upon reflection of the last few years of my life, I’ve been coming to that conclusion as well. The text is basically a spontaneous summary of those reflections…
Maybe it is spreading – there are fewer yuppies nowadays, I think, and less support for just about any ideology. And more focus, by more people, on living. Now, the current focus is on individual life, and we still need to move a bit, to get to an understanding of living together – but that's a different kind of movement; more of a transformation.
Your last observation absolutely nails it - our focus should be on transformation instead of movement... And transformation needs stillness to be completed.
This was really beautiful Stephanie.
When I do stop and stay still for a moment I get really restless then beat myself up as I just want to stop and be still. It’s a terrible feeling and a contradiction. I’m so fed up of just going through the motions, doing the 9-5 100 % stuck in the rat race facing the hot London tube, yes I’m moving cos I have no choice but I’m moving round in circles. I don’t know the answer, I don’t want to wish my life away but I can retire in 10 years. I plan to get a little small cottage and potter daily.
It's horrible isn't it?! We want to just stop but it's as if we've forgotten how to do it. I have the same problem. I completely understand how you feel. We're constantly moving but don't seem to know why or if it's even for ourselves...
What you have planned definitely sounds like bliss 🥰 I've got my fingers and toes crossed that it happens for you sooner than later🤞
❤️❤️
Embracing stillness can be such a challenge, but wow .... when you finally do, it's 100% worth it. I just got back from a short vacation with family, and we never used the television or went on social media. We used our phones only to get directions to our next outdoor adventure. Being out in nature for 12-14 hours a day was glorious! And the vastness of the forests and mountains was beyond satisfying.
I actually fantasise about moving some place remote and living an analog life again! Everything just seemed so much simpler before the phone plague, especially embracing stillness...
Great job successfully limiting and managing the phone/(social) media usage though! I'm thinking about maybe introducing "analog days" into my calendar to grow accustomed to just being again.
Beautifully and eloquently articulated (unlike this clunky compliment 😂)
I do constantly lament or bemoan my 'fate' but not in a truly debilitating manner - more in a wistful way, like with my longing for Ireland, as you know. I'm luckily okay with accepting and even embracing the stillness, and that's kind of the point I'd reached just before I left Ukraine. The past few years have thrown it all out of whack and I've struggled to get to a more comfortable state since arriving in Vienna.
Sometimes we can't be still due to external circumstances. That's a whole different story...
I reached that point of stillness in Portsmouth, also had to leave temporarily for reasons out of my control, unexpectedly got a job offer somewhere else and started moving again instead of returning to the stillness I already found. I'm also in the process of trying to cultivate it here at the moment...
By the way, we reached a record-breaking 27 degrees in Dublin yesterday! As a self-proclaimed summer lover, I was shocked at how disgustingly hot I found it 🙈 Next week we should be back to Irish summer - 19 degrees (with sunshine if we're lucky 🍀😉)
19 degrees, oh please, that’s my dream weather!!!
I’ll be in the UK (Colchester) on Wednesday for 3 weeks, I’m hoping it’s cooled down more and stays at a more reasonable level. It’s at 38 right now (9.30am) but the forecast for later is 41 (again).
Next week I’m going to have a ‘what is home/what the hell is going on?’ post, and that’ll be my last for a few weeks while I take it easy over the summer.
Surprisingly, I'm starting to grow fond of 19 degree summers as well...
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll be able to enjoy 3 "cool" weeks in the UK🤞
I'm looking forward to that post, as it sounds like one I'll be able to relate to. Taking it easy sounds like a good idea. I hope you enjoy the time off 😊
I think the answer is in the title itself, "Bliss". Progressing is usually the order of the day but sometimes stagnation is the answer. What's important is to feel comfortable. If one is headbutting an impenetrable wall, stagnation might be the better choice.
We all have hard choices to make in life. Many "what ifs" and routes we could have taken. I think what's important is that one makes a choice and commits to it.
It helps to have money but it's not everything. I think of stories where high level executives quit their jobs for a life on a farm with animals and found happiness.
I don't know if this post was a generalization or a glimpse into how you feel, but we all have to keep our heads up and keep moving forward.
This post is more of a generalisation and also a realisation. Everywhere I look these days, it seems like everyone is chasing something - careers, money, followers/engagement, healing, (spiritual) enlightenment - so few people seem to be truly satisfied and most are far from blissful. I think the problem is this notion that we’re not growing if we’re not constantly doing, moving, improving and, most importantly, if we’re not adhering to society’s standard of ambition and success. I mean, just look at people’s reactions if a person dares say they don’t necessarily enjoy travelling and are perfectly content and happy at home or if they tell someone they enjoy a job that’s deemed “mediocre” (like cleaning) by most and have no desire to do anything else. People perceive those attitudes as stagnation or an unwillingness to grow, but I’m starting to think that they are more blissful than all the dreamers, movers, and shakers who never seem truly content, regardless of what they achieve, will ever be.
That is why you don't see the content ones …...because they are not out there chasing anything. Contentment doesn't necessarily rely on wealth. There are many poor people that live in slums all over the world but they are “wealthy” in family and cultural ties.
I can't help but notice the similarities of when you were talking about growth, but in an economic context. They say if the economy is not growing, we're in a recession. So, I guess we have to keep growing personally to avoid a “recession” or even a “depression” in our lives.
I think it comes down to standards. If a person has very high standards, they won't be content unless they are living in the fast lane. The cleaner as you mentioned may have medium or low standards and is content with their income.
Interesting point... Which makes me think that maybe stability should be the objective instead of (constant) growth - economically and personally?!
Yes exactly! With constant growth comes volatility, whether it be personally or economically. Let’s look at some examples:
1) A successful restaurant opens up 3 more locations. After more success they open 15 more locations. Eventually resources and money get stretched thin and they are forced to close the new restaurants. Why not just have 5 restaurants and be stable?
2) Financial crash of 2008. Lenders were giving loans to people that carried alot of risk. Sure there was growth but look at what wound up happening.
3) Take a person making €10,000 a month after taxes. They pay €5000 rent and after all the high standard costs of living they have €1000 left for savings. Then take someone making €6000 a month after taxes. They pay €2000 in rent and after medium costs of living they have €2500 euros left for savings. Which one is more stable?
All perfect examples of how viewing constant "growth" as a primary objective will ultimately lead to the demise of what you've been growing. I think you just have to reach a point where you can say "Ok, this is fine. Let's just put our efforts into maintaining things as they are", but humanity just does not seem capable of this, hence why entire civilisations end up destroying themselves and the systems they built (and grew).
“reach a point where you can say "Ok, this is fine.”
Nailed it.
“entire civilisations end up destroying themselves”
Roman empire comes to mind as their vast borders became ungovernable.
Agreed that too many of us struggle to live in the present. Beautifully written 🤍
Thank you!
Love your new pic, by the way :-D
That's a good point – on top of a feeling that I know well, and that I think many people run into. That feeling of running in some kind of hamster wheel that actually not leads anywhere, even though we believe that movement itself is progression.
Enjoying the spot you've already found, spending time on something else than running, could possibly lead to a lot more blissful.
Great text!
Yes, upon reflection of the last few years of my life, I’ve been coming to that conclusion as well. The text is basically a spontaneous summary of those reflections…
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Maybe it is spreading – there are fewer yuppies nowadays, I think, and less support for just about any ideology. And more focus, by more people, on living. Now, the current focus is on individual life, and we still need to move a bit, to get to an understanding of living together – but that's a different kind of movement; more of a transformation.
Your last observation absolutely nails it - our focus should be on transformation instead of movement... And transformation needs stillness to be completed.