Bliss

For anyone who feels like the pursuit is costing them the reward

Image: Asking The Stars, Karl Wilhelm Diefenbach

Courtesy of Artvee

Many days, it feels like the Universe is having a good laugh at your expense. You try, you hope, you pray, and you’re occasionally thrown a bone, only to end up choking on it.

For as long as you can remember, you thought you were sure of what you wanted… But suddenly, you come to realise the only things “sure” are uncertainty and confusion.

Long-held dreams seem overrated and the comfort of what (and whom) you had and knew holds fresh appeal. You ask yourself what exactly you’ve been chasing and why? Was and is it all worth it?

You’ve lost so much - time, money, relationships, resources, your sense of self, and the faith that there is truly something to gain. You say to yourself that it will be okay, everything will work itself out - fall into place somehow - and you cling to that sentiment because if you didn’t, you would become painfully aware that you have nothing tangible to show for the sweat and tears you’ve invested and are forced to question your motivation to keep pushing.

You occupy yourself, try to find joy in the small things and simple moments, but you are forever consumed by the constant back and forth in your heart and in your mind. It refuses to let you indulge, enjoy, be.

You’re alone, which makes it all the more impossible to get out of your own head, especially when the little company you do keep makes you feel even more disconnected. It’s unintentional - it’s not their fault - but their ability to ‘be’ perpetuates your inability to do the same.

You’re not resentful, just sad. In your imagination, life seems as if it should be effortless and happiness self-evident. You just can’t grasp why it’s so difficult to implement in reality.

Fear and worry dictate your days. A dark inner dialogue dominates most moments of potential beauty. You are invariably anticipating a bleak future or overamplifying the errors of times past, as you remain almost oblivious to the present.

You search and wander instead of peacefully being still because you hold as your truth that stillness equates stagnation and movement is progress...

But what if movement is just distraction and true bliss is found within stillness? What if being still is what will finally allow you to just be?